The Year-End Clearance

No, I’m not talking about a year-end yarn clearance at A Piece of Ewe, or Uncommon Threads, although I’m sure there are such deals to be had.  I mean the year-end clearance one makes on December 31 every year, the kind where one takes stock, assesses, measures, reflects.

Out there in the blogosphere, many others are doing the exact same thing I am.  Thousands of people sitting at their computers, typing away, looking back at the year that was and anticipating the year to come.  More than a few are doing a much better job at it than me.

What do the loops in my 365-day odyssey known as 2009 say about me?  What pattern did they create?  An enterlac pattern comes to mind, one that looks random, that looks crazy-quiltish, but in the end makes sense and looks appealing.  Many times, I felt like I was being stitched and turned, and stitched and turned some more, thinking what was being created was going to be a giant mess.  To my surprise, it all flows together, it all makes sense.  It all is as it should have been.

Promotion, buying the house, finding Stephanie, continuing to find myself as a writer, going deeper as a knitter, becoming more of an adult, settling deeply and intricately into my life, choosing to settle down, choosing to plant roots… This is the year I made many big decisions, and they all felt so natural to make.  I committed.  I really committed.

Looking back, it all makes sense.  One stitch created a loop which led to another loop.  A guiding hand shaped many things:  My grandmother.  I felt her so often this year, I heard her so often this year.  She hasn’t gone.  She’s there, talking and guiding and shaping in ways she couldn’t the last years of her life.  This year — 2009 — was her year to be with me, and I still feel her with me and hear her whisper in my ear, almost every day.  She helps me create these loops, she points out stitches and patterns.  She’s with me in a way I cherish.

So perhaps that is the biggest lesson learned from 2009: What comes before shapes what is and what will come.  I feel blessed to have been able to learn that, and blessed to have stitched this enterlac life.

Here’s to a prosperous 2010!

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